In the bustling streets of Capernaum, a woman pushed through the crowd, desperate for help. She had spent all her money on doctors, but none could heal her. She had heard about a man named Jesus who could perform miracles. Determined, she reached out and touched the edge of His robe as He walked by. Immediately, she felt a change in her body—the bleeding stopped. Jesus turned and asked, “Who touched me?” His disciples, confused by the throng of people, couldn’t understand His question. The woman, scared but hopeful, knelt before Him and explained what she had done and how she was healed. Jesus looked at her and said, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free from your suffering.” The woman left, her heart full of joy. Her life was changed for the better.
When I was a young man, I learned early on to shut down my feelings. My dad was in the military, and I would get a spanking if I cried—emotions were not tolerated. Later in life, I was part of a Christian movement called “The Faith Movement,” which taught walking by faith, not by sight, and disregarding feelings. I fit right in because I had already learned to suppress my feelings for the most part. However, living this way didn’t work for me. What did work was my pursuit to know what God wanted. Today, much of my counseling focuses on teaching people how to feel, how to process feelings, and when to trust them.
As a Christian, you might be wary of the subject of feelings, especially you men. We as people, tend to either dismiss our feelings or let them run rampant.The problem with ignoring and suppressing our feelings is that FEELINGS NEVER DIE! That’s right, when we push down a feeling, it stays with us forever. The problem with choosing this path is that suppressed emotions over time take a devastating toll on our emotional and physical life.
On the other hand, if we let our emotions reign and control our life, we’re like a five- year-old, responding to everything we either like or dislike. These people can end up being very annoying, unteachable, and non-productive.
Feelings have a lot to do with being led by the Holy Spirit. Many of us acknowledge this but do not realize it. For example, how many times have you heard someone leave a church service saying, “Wow, I felt the power of God so strongly today,” or “I didn’t feel God’s presence at all today”? Notice that feelings are central to both statements.
In the story above, the woman felt something when she touched Jesus. She also felt scared to approach him, but she did anyway. Notice she accepted one feeling but didn’t let the other one (scared) control her. This is a great example of knowing what to do with our feelings. I wonder what would have happened if she would have reacted to being scared and not gone up to him? Notice Jesus felt her touch His robe. With a huge crowd pushing to get near Him, He felt. What is amazing to me is how sensitive He was to her touch. She touched his robe (not his arm) and he felt it. Jesus was very aware of His feelings. We all know the story. Once, He was so angry He overturned tables in the temple, yet we are often taught that anger is a sin. Could your pastor get by with showing the same emotions as Jesus? Probably not. In my opinion, the Church as a whole could use at least one of these “flipping the tables” services. Most church services are long past due for this kind of authenticity.
A few years ago, I had a young college student come to me for counseling who had been so hurt by the church she wanted nothing to do with it. (This is quite normal in my practice.) During our time of working together, on her own, one Sunday, she decided to attend a church service. When she came to her next session, she told me she had gone to church, and I must say it surprised me. I asked her how it was, and I’ll never forget her response. She said, “Earl, I felt good about going to church, but I felt condemned and bad about myself when I left.” This made me very angry. In that moment, I wanted to go into that church and be like Jesus:
John 2:13-16 (NIV)
When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts, he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!”
I wanted to make a whip and drive all those people out of there. I’d like to scatter their songbooks, overturn their pews, and drive out the message of condemnation and replace it with agape love. That anger still drives me today to teach and show people the love of Jesus. As we see from the scripture above, anger can be a positive and powerful emotion if understood correctly.
Being aware of our feelings, being in touch with them, and knowing how to respond to them is crucial to being led by the Holy Spirit.
